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In the summer of 1972 I joined the Shiloh Ministries. I'd heard about them through a couple I'd known back in the House of Miracles' days. I assumed that they were just another branch off of that ministry. Shilohs' main office was located in Dexter, Oregon on some 90 acres of gorgeous land. The man who founded Shiloh was also the lead pastor. He lived there along with his wife and children. The main reason for my joining this ministry was because it looked so beautiful and inviting. Not only were the offices on this property, but there was a school of Biblical studies, dormitories for both men and women, cabins for the married folks and a big hall where we ate and had meetings. I wanted to be there, but that was not where I first lived at. Shiloh had several houses spread out all throughout the U.S. Each house had a pastor, two deacons and other brothers and sisters. There were anywhere from eight to twenty people living in one house, sometimes more. I remember living in Salem, Oregon when there were fifty of us living in a three bedroom, one bath house. Thank God for the rather large basement where the sisters slept. Somehow I managed a bath every day. Everybody had a part in maintaining the house. We would have outside jobs and chores to do prior to work and after. Our main objective though was to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. We would have nightly Bible studies and weekly witnessing on either Friday or Saturday evenings. I look back on those days and see that there were many sincere people. People who just wanted to do this and do it with a pure heart. I found out years later after I'd left that not everyone was of a sincere heart. The lead pastor was swindled by his own brethren and booted out of the ministry. Maybe I was naive in thinking that the ones who were in leadership had a heart for the Lord Jesus. Why were the "little" people working hard, owning only their backpacks, boots and sleeping bags, while the leadership had homes with stereos, television sets and all the luxury afforded them through the hard labor of others? I'm sure that everyone involved have already been judged. It was not my intention to leave Shiloh. I was flying to Phoenix to visit my family. Two days after I came home I got in touch with an old beau who'd been trying to get a hold of me for two years. Three weeks later we got married. The best thing that came out of that union was two beautiful baby girls. The marriage lasted eight and a half years. Everything I did after Shiloh was not according to the will of the Father. I completely turned from Him and tried to justify all I did. Yet, I knew that I couldn't take His Joy and Peace with me. For years I felt that I was in a maze never being able to find my way out. Even then at times I would hear His voice calling my name. Those were the times that I would break down and cry tears of loneliness and despair. I knew He loved me and was patiently waiting for me to turn to Him. All I had to do was call out His name and yet I didn't. I always held back. I felt that I would return to Him one day but couldn't do it just then because I didn't want to be the way I was when I was in the last two ministries. I wanted to come back and stay fully committed the next time. Even though these were my thoughts there really was no justifying my not coming back to Him. I would be like one of the five unwise virgins whose lamp had run out of oil. In hindsight I've come to realize that if the Lord had come for His Church back then I wouldn't have known it. Would I know it now? O Lord, make us ready.
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